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Growing Together Last time we talked about the many surprises marriage springs on us. "For better or for worse" is often more than we bargained for. The joys that marriage gives us can exceed our wildest imaginations and the sorrows can shatter our darkest fears. One thing is for certain, these highs, lows, and unexpected events stamp an indelible mark on our soul. God's laws and truths never change. But we must admit that "life" has a way of altering our view of the world. No matter what naive aspirations and hopes we bring to a marriage relationship, it is guaranteed that the daily grind of living together will change the way we see things. Our views will change over time to more perfectly reflect God's laws and truths. The strongest marriages will experience the pain of failed expectations and unmet needs. Those that "stick it out" will have to learn to grow together during the good times and the bad. Nothing stays the same forever. Each new life event challenges our core beliefs and forces us to rethink our positions. This is all a normal part of healthy marriages, but sadly many couples seek to go back to the old days. Some say, "Why can't things be like they used to be." These couples often grow apart and their marriages end in loneliness. The key to a healthy marriage is not maintaining the status quo. But it is growing and changing together with each new encounter. It's not just a collection of experiences and war stories, but it is an accumulation of knowledge and experience that leads to an increase in our relational skills. Growing together is asking what needs my partner has. How can I meet those needs? What changes can I make to myself to accommodate the growth and changes taking place? We easily recognize the need for new clothes and shoes as our children grow out of them, but it's so hard to realize that we as couples have grown beyond our old models of relating and it's time to buy in to a larger, roomier and spacious relationship before the old shoes and clothes stunt our marriage's growth. Ephesians 4:15-16 "God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love-like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love." [1] Pastor Robert Morse |
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